Self Preservation

Let me set the scene for you.

A member of the Star Trek Discovery crew is gravely ill and until this moment, there was little to no hope of their recovery. The main computer of the ship (which happens to be an A.I.) was asked by the ship’s doctor to search its extensive database to see if any other options were available for the sick crewman, Georgiou.

The computer return what can only be deemed as a miraculous long shot, but the only problem with this is that taking the sick crew member to the this far away planet that may or may not have a cure, would take the crew away from what is seen as its primary objective.

Captain Saru starts to weigh the cost of each action and decides that the needs of the many (the communities under attack by the Chain) is greater than the need of one crewman. What happens next is what led me to writing this blog, below is the response given by Admiral Vance to Captain Saru (who has seniority over Captain Saru):

Admiral Vance: A crew member is drowning. If we let her, then your crew will never look at you or the Federation the same way again. And you will never look at yourself the same way, either.

Captain Saru: Yes sir, thank you sir.

Something about this response hit me like a ton of bricks. Even though the situation related above is a bit extreme, I think it fits perfectly into this idea of self preservation and the battle surrounding making choices in this regard. I think for me it was the wording he used, a crew member is drowning… This state of drowning can be any hard situation or circumstances we as human beings tend to find ourselves in. Yet, we live in a time where preserving ones own well being over that of anyone else is seen as paramount.

The definition of self preservation according to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary is:

1. preservation of oneself from destruction or harm; and

2. a natural or instinctive tendency to act so as to preserve one's own existence.

I think society has made it trendy to walk away from just about every and anything under the guise of preserving ourselves. I do believe that there are certain situations that are truly so toxic that holding on to them is like willingly drinking poison. But what about those situations where because the situation is difficult, it in turn becomes the main contributing factor of the discomfort you are experiencing? What if what you are experiencing during this time is not someone giving you hard time but really its just someone who is having a hard time? In situations like this, do we decide the needs of the many, or even more appropriately, our need to be comfortable far exceeds that of anything else?

This whole scene made me think of what transpired between Cain and Abel. Hear me out, this is intense and I know it, but what if this feeling of needing to self-preserve was ultimately manifested in the total disregarding of his brother’s life to the point that he cared not if his brother lived or died? His main prerogative was to some how preserve himself as the best and in this case only option to present gifts to God. I think there is a lot more deeper waters I can tread here but I will leave that for another post.

On December 12, I celebrated 16 years of saying yes to Jesus and with that came a renewed sense of living in total to surrender to His will. I bring this up because when I survey my life and my relationships, I can see a clear pattern of not fully living in surrender. I relish the ability to be able to decide who or what I cut out of my life with no objections and this is not a characteristic of a surrendered life.

As leaders, we have a responsibility to ensure those we lead know that we have their backs no matter what. This does not mean we tolerate behaviour that is unacceptable; this does means that we are ready to show grace and mercy when there is a change of behaviour or a desire to change and grow has been shown. In our everyday lives, we have the responsibility to do the same to those we claim to love.

I think I am growing to understand that my priority to myself is not separate from the priority to help my neighbour. I believe these two things are conjoined, so therefore when I am faced with the dilemma of whether to help myself or help someone in need, I need not see it as too separate things. In helping my neighbour, I am helping myself.

From the moment Georgiou arrived from the mirror universe, she was a thorn in the crew’s side. As time progressed, she found her placed in the crew and the crew began to see her as one of them. This did not change the fact that she was a very aggressive person with clear personality deficiencies and given the right opportunity would cause irreversible damage to the crew’s ecosystem.

So, one could see why it was not so hard for Captain Saru to make the decision he did initially. I say this to point out the fact that in the end helping Georgiou didn’t mean putting the crew at risk, it meant knowing the volatility of this individual and deciding to provide them with the opportunity for help  with clear boundaries that brought some security to the crew as well.

There will be some situations where helping the other person might mean taking a step back from them for a season all while still committing to pray for them consistently or as God leads. There will also be other times when you are the person who is suppose to provide the life raft personally, with clear boundaries in place to prevent you from being pulled in too. Both of these options require the wisdom and heart of God.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3

May our priorities for ourselves and each other be clearly and intentionally aligned with the heart and purpose of God.

I speak about this concept more on an upcoming on the On My Soapbox Podcast with my dear friend Amy Mobley. You can find it here.