Pimpin' Grace
On May 11th, 2016, I woke with this ludicrous but very plausible question,
Am I pimpin' grace?
As unusual as you may think this line of thinking is, it is the norm for me. LOL! I have a plethora of these types of thoughts daily. However, this one rang a loud gong within the chambers of my heart. I was left with some pressing questions:
Have I been pimping grace?
What has this looked like in my life?
Is there any hope for me?
I would like to invite you on this journey through the inner chambers of my heart. I think the first thing we should do is clearly define what I understand "pimpin" and "grace" to mean.
“a wo/man who controls prostitutes and arranges clients for them, taking part of their earnings in return”
“The free and unmerited favour of God as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowing of blessings. ”
Above we get a clear picture of what the words pimp and grace mean. In the context of the question I asked myself earlier, pimpin' grace then means living carelessly knowing that I have procured a "get out of jail card" called Grace that I can use whenever I choose for my personal gain. So in essence, I make choices knowing at all times I can send Grace in to clean up the situation, which then makes me feel better about my current condition, all the time knowing I have no real commitment to change.
This then leads me to misquote and misrepresent scripture to soothe my condition as my signature verse now becomes:
For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice
- Romans 7:19
I then knowingly forget or (let me give myself the benefit of the doubt) I glossed over unintentionally the remaining verses in the chapter that lead to Christ as the solution. I some how forget the rest of the book for that matter, which calls me to renew my mind and not become conformed to the ways of the world.
If I am all the way transparent with you, this truth makes me feel ashamed of myself because I begin to realise that my refusal to surrender to the will and ways of God and my abuse of Grace is basically crucifying Christ over and over again.
I started reading this book a few years ago (don't judge me lol) called 'The Cost of Discipleship' by Deitrich Bonhoeffer. In this book he talks about two types of Grace: Cheap Grace and Costly Grace.
“Cheap grace means grace as a doctrine, a principle, a system. It means forgiveness of sins proclaimed as a general truth, the love of God taught as the Christian ‘conception’ of God. An intellectual assent to that idea is held to be of itself sufficient to secure remission of sins…. In such a Church the world finds a cheap covering for its sins; no contrition is required, still less any real desire to be delivered from sin. Cheap grace therefore amounts to a denial of the living Word of God, in fact, a denial of the Incarnation of the Word of God. Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves. Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession...Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.
vs
Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock. Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life. It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner. Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son: “ye were bought at a price,” and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us. Above all, it is grace because God did not reckon his Son too dear a price to pay for our life, but delivered him up for us. Costly grace is the Incarnation of God.
”
To summarize, Cheap Grace brings with it a cheap covering for sin for those who have no real desire to be delivered from sin, while Costly Grace on the other hand, condemns sins and justifies the sinner who desires to be free from sin.
On my journey as a Christian, I don’t think I have struggled with any other concept as much as I have struggled with Grace. Maybe this was rooted in my innate belief that nothing good is given for free or that I am what I do or what I bring to the table.
You can see how a concept like Grace (when rightly understood) completely demolishes this line of belief. I also think that potentially the various circumstances I have come across in life, possibly played a role in me thinking less of Grace because it is freely given. Let me explain, growing up the things that were free were sometimes substandard and most people that interacted with these things where I am from, found ways to beat the system to get more for their personal profit. Enter my logic: so if Grace is “free” there must be a way for me to profit from this. (Stick a pin: This is also deeply rooted in a Poverty Mindset, which at some point I hope to share my thoughts about.)
The result of such a mindset was that when I found myself battling with any type of sin, I subconsciously started to view my way out as my way to stay in. Grace for me meant that when I fell, and I needed to feel better about myself I would call on Grace, and as soon as another opportunity to engage in the same sin occurred, I no longer thought about it twice because I knew I had a way out now.
However, as I mentioned at the start, on May 11th, 2016 I woke with this burning question, Am I pimpin’ Grace? And the horrifying truth was a resounding YES. You see, a pimp normally finds a naive or lost individual which they use for their own personal gain. My lack of understanding of what Grace really meant lead me to behave in this manner. I was using what I thought to be of little value or sacredness for my excuse to live comfortably with sin. As I battled with this new revelation, I started to dislike hearing verses like 2 Corinthians 12:9:
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
This was mostly because I felt like I had really used this verse as a crutch to stay stagnant with no desire to change my heart or mind about any sin I found myself committing. I remember having conversations with a close friend a year on from this revelation and they were quoting this scripture and I got so angry it was confusing.
I realised later that this anger was rooted in my realisation that I had been pimpin’ grace and I no longer wanted anything to do with any situation that would allow this to continue.
One thing I love about the Holy Spirit is that He doesn’t allow those who seek understanding to remain in the dark. The revelation came at a time that I would need Grace the most. Not the Cheap Grace but Costly Grace - Grace with the power to transform me.
2016-2017 was my time of Amazing Grace. I had just returned to finish my degree from a painful yet powerful two year undesired sabbatical and free unmerited favour would be the only way possible to complete the journey. And in short, that is exactly what was given to me. Why? Simply put:
He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor punished us according to our iniquities. - Psalm 103:10
I share this experience for my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, as a reminder to honestly examine our hearts at all times as it relates to the amazing Gift of Grace we have been given. Something I have come to understand is that Grace isn't powerless or naive, or even limited to how I have present it here, in fact it is a powerful and varied gift (I hope to share a sermon I preached in Uganda in Feb 2018 on this in the future) and I pray my analogy with the word pimpin' doesn't take away from this powerful truth. We humans have a way of putting ourselves and others through needless pain all because we have misused the cure that has been made available to us.
I pray that everyone that reads this post determines to live in a manner that abhors Cheap Grace while passionately pursuing Costly Grace - the grace bought by the Sacrifice of God’s only son - Jesus.
So yes... Grace is free to us; and yet we mustn't forget the great sacrifice on Calvary that made it available to us.
(Disclaimer: The purpose of this post isn't to provide an exhaustive account of all that Grace entails, as it is a multifaceted concept. The post was written to share an intimate experience with a layer of Grace with hopes to encourage others to go deeper with their understanding of what Grace means.)
With that said, I would love to hear any comments you may have below!