My Madness

I’d like to think that there is a method to my madness.

I’m currently at a crossroads surrounded by bottomless pits.

All my life I have prayed for the right way but I forgot to ask how to choose.

The ditches I dug for myself have provided solace in a world filled with disappointments. I was told I am the keeper of my own magic;

Then why do I have so many fears trying to contest it?

My frustrations have made me their slave.

My insecurities have created a pageant for themselves;

Each one trying to one up the next.

My weaknesses is the judge to this illustrious affair.

My strengths could care less they’re off doing what they do best, winning is their cheer. Destined for greatness no one dear contend.

Yet in my private time I second-guess the message that heaven did send.

I’d like to think that there is a method to my madness,

I’m currently at a crossroads surrounded by bottomless pits.

All my life I have prayed for the right way but I forgot to ask how to choose.

Tonight I gave God an ultimatum and I heard him laugh.

The heavens vibrated so hard it split the Richter in half.

His sense of humour can handle my foolish presumptions.

His heart is big enough to handle my daily slipups.

Sin came to visit its onset similar to the hiccups.

I tried drinking water and still he wouldn’t subside.

I stop my breath and to the thought of that he smiled.

My life is his ransom and nothing less will he accept.

Yet here I sit still breathing while he waits around for my final breath.

I’d like to think that there is a method to my madness.

I’m currently at a crossroads surrounded by bottomless pits,

All my life I have prayed for the right way but I forgot to ask how to choose.

If winning is my habit then why am I addicted to the feeling when I lose?

Somehow I have convinced myself I don’t deserve better.

Somehow I have been victimized to my enemies love letter.

Dear Toya,

I loved you from the first time you said yes.

I pledge to always lead you astray to the deepest darkest depths.

So what he can love you better than I?

 Don’t fight what feels so wrong, Mary J said good guys are dull,

Bad guys bring all the fun.

Please take me back sincerely your Mr. Wrong.

He told the truth and I believed the lies.

Yet in my soul I hear the brandish of a hot-blooded war cry,

My heart may have deceived me for this short while,

But TRUTH has made its presence known in this wayward child.

I’d like to think that there is a method to my madness.

I’m currently at a crossroads surrounded by bottomless pits,

All my life I have prayed for the right way but I forgot to ask how to choose.

My Hope is tied to the indisputability of the coming of the morn.

My goal is to live in the present and successfully love during this sojourn.

My Faith is in the fact that night is only for a few hours.

In His eyes I saw love unlike anything I have ever experienced.

His face didn’t show grief, it displayed forgiveness with a breath taking radiance.

The soul of man is not easily quelled.

It is inherent in our nature to rebel,

To rebel against even that which we so deeply yearn.

We become familiar with lessons we weren’t intended to learn.

Yet somehow, we are still worthy of love,

And this, my friend we don’t understand so we equate it to mere madness.