A Time to Wait
In life, we have to wait on so many things, we are frequently waiting on someone, some time, some season, something to come, something to pass, something to change. For the most part we detest this waiting… this unwanted period of delay-no matter how short. Our own impatience is not helped by the ‘have-in-an-instant’ world we live in. The resounding refrain around us keeps declaring, ‘“Waiting is unnecessary, a bore, a waste of time, silly, …” and the list goes on. Why the unsettled, antagonistic response?
I think it is because in the waiting we come face to face with reality, with ourselves, to wait is to be forced into a space, whereby we have to entertain even for a minute, possible collisions of hopes, dreams, fears, thoughts, experiences, sorrows. As human beings, we are innately selfish and struggle to see how waiting, pausing, reflecting, taking stock of situations, circumstances, our lives- can truly be beneficial.
This is very evident in the area of relationships, most of us can relate to the ‘longing’ for that someone special. Even those who enjoy their freedom and independence sometimes dwell on the thought, however fleeting, of having a deep connection and, dare I say, real love, with someone who gets them, cherishes them, appreciates and respects who they are, someone who inspires and motivates them. Before you start to espouse, how you don’t need anyone to complete you etc., I would say yes, I concur, instead of looking for someone to complete us- we should first seek and strive for personal wholeness – in every sense of the word (emotionally, physically, psychologically, spiritually, relationally).
Along the road of health and truth, we are often better able to see clearly who we are and what we truly want, or more importantly, need, in a partner. While we are becoming the best person we can be, living out our purpose, and journeying towards fulfilment of all God destined for us, our re-directed souls are able to recover. During this period of growth and development (read waiting) we are able to mediate (read, rehearse what is good and true and sit before God) and clear out misconceptions, pre-conceived notions, negative and unhealthy mindsets – generally, get rid of ‘baggage’ or as I like to say- ‘detox’.
To draw from spiritual parallels – while we are mending and growing, you know, ‘taking ten’, it’s a Sabbath of being on the relationship treadmill, the constant lookout- whether actively or passively, (because we can remain in a state of pining- thinking and sub-consciously displaying certain behaviours, without actively pursuing persons- think social media creeping, reality TV show binging, focusing on relationships of others and so on).
This soul- detox is necessary because we are imperfect people, raised by imperfect people, who are part of imperfect societies, making up imperfect communities inhabiting a far from perfect world. In other words- brokenness, in some form and kind for us all, is inevitable. What we see, hear, feel and are subjected to, affects us on every level. Sometimes because of neglect, abuse, heartache and personal ambitions we allow our hearts to be hardened, and suffer ‘frozen’ souls because we think we cannot afford to let someone into the ‘complication’ that is us, and still come out well.
We tell ourselves ‘stories’, we let others tell us ‘stories’, we listen to music that tells us more ‘stories’, we watch shows that do the same, and keep company with others who do yet more of the same. We bombard our hearts and minds with myths and empty rhetoric which prevent us from properly processing during times of preparation, pruning and purification- aka, times of waiting.
Sometimes we find ourselves in seasons of waiting, because God in his gracious wisdom, is giving us opportunities to ‘learn the lessons’ we so desperately need to learn, in order to have the greatest outcomes possible. He is granting us t-i-m-e.
Time to heal, mature, and thrive, before we fully give of ourselves and share completely in the life of another. We hear it said this way often, “Good things come to those who wait.” Great and better things will come as well, and if we stop trying to dictate to God how our lives should play out, and spend time listening, seeking wisdom, healing, and replenishing our souls- we will see the so -called, ‘scourge’ of waiting as more of a blessing. Because despite what we think, say, and try to portray, we don’t have it altogether, we don’t know everything, we are not in control of our entire lives. Sometimes, though, in the silences and the stillness we are able to glimpse the naked truth that our making and re-making is in the ‘waiting’, so the next time your impatient self asks for the umpteenth time- “Are we there yet?” Tell yourself no, and sit back to take in the scenery that is your life, remembering, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
